Shilo's Road

This is definitely long over due. I just couldn’t seem to bring myself to truly say goodbye. Shilo Anne lost her tough battle with cancer 11/23/2009. She was such an inspiration, more so today then ever. I look over those last pictures we took and realize that was just 24 hours before we said goodbye and she was still trying to stay strong.

Christmas was so hard for our family without her here, she had been our heart baby. Not many fur babies reach the level of heart baby. You know the ones you think are more human then dog… That was Shilo, I swear that girl knew us better then we knew ourselves. I don’t know how many wonderful stories I could share with you on show her love graced our family. Her strength gave us strength… Her courage gave us such a new perspective on life, love, and strength. She was truly our best friend, our confident, and our heart.

Our last day together was sooo hard… We all knew time was short and trying to make the best of things was so difficult. I tried to get that paw print I talked about, but the stuff got stuck in her fur and she was definitely not happy with me at all.. I ruined the print and cried, I knew I might not get it again. And I didn’t…. The next day I came home from work to her dad saying that she had been getting sick all morning. I thought maybe we could take her to the lake for one last dip, but half way there she started getting sick all over the car. I knew she wouldn’t make it nor would she even be impressed by being there. The best thing to do was to let her go home.  So we turned the car around and headed back to the vet. We didn’t even call; I just walked in tears streaming down my face as I realized this was it. The people at the vet’s office came and gave hugs and we settled her bill before bringing her in, and as we said our goodbyes I just lost it. The Dr, Brian and I just bawled and she lay limp in my arms and her Dr. said she was gone. Dr. Plecia then asked the uncanny question, “Would we like a paw print?” I just bawled and shook my head yes. I couldn’t believe they were asking me for the one thing that I needed more then anything at that point. And so a paw print was made.

It has now been 1 ½ months since we said goodbye and life is more bearable but, we miss her terrible everyday. She was such an extension to  her Dad and I, I just can’t explain. I know that she will be waiting for us, as I look forward to the day I see her again. I love her and miss her so much!! My heart aches to feel the softness of her fur and the love she had for us in her soul.  We love you so much Shi Shi and we will never, ever forget you!!

Here are some photo’s from her last day with us….

11/22/2009 The last day she was with us…..

You can’t tell she was totally pissed at me for trying to get the paw print… I felt sooo bad….

And here she is trying to make me feel better…

Here is one of my fav’s… This was her favorite spot and she loved it when Daddy laid and looked out with her… Especially when he cracked the window where she could get all the smells in…

Pooped and tired, she finally slept pretty good for awhile until she woke me at 2 am. This was the last photo we got of her before we took her in for her last visit to the vet a 12 noon 11/23/2009. This is how I want to remember her, peaceful and sleeping… Instead of the image of holding her head in my arms and I whispered how much I loved her and feeling her leave me and go limp. If there are prayers out there, please prayer for that. I just want to remember this beautiful angel…

Here is Shi Shi’s collar and the paw print done by the vets office. Tonight was the first night I have taken it out since bringing it home… I can still feel every mark of her paws in the print. I am so thankful that they did this for out family… Thank you…

To all those who were there with us during our walk with Shilo, I am sorry I have been MIA for a bit. It was just to hard, and I had to find a place to really grieve. I can’t tell you though Caira Sue, Codie Rae how much your cards meant to me. They came at such a great time. Cherry’s Dad, Tazzie’s Mom, Emily’s Mom, and Jake’s Mom thank you sooooo much for the support. Adm and Jerry God knows how much I am thankful for you and this website. I would had lost my sanity that first week I brought her home.

There are many more who added their support and knowledge through our trials, and you will have to forgive this old brain of mine… Thank you so much… Shilo thanks you too….

Love – Alisa

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 3rd, 2010 at 2:51 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.